Ain't Afraid to Die
by Nekonezume
Summary: Dark fic. Link questions his reality, purpose, and meaning.


"Ain't Afraid to Die" - Zelda fanfic

©2002 This story was written by Katie (oh sure! Like I'll give you my last name!). It is totally 100% fictional, which is why it's a fanfic! If you wanna use it on your webpage, then you must e-mail me at katiec@nb.sympatico.ca. If I find my fanfic on your page without my permission, then I will personally kill you. Have a nice day :P!

LEGAL ZELDA DISCLAIMER: ©1998 Nintendo. I don't own any rights to any Zelda games.

Ain't Afraid to Die

Link knelt down by the pedestal of time. He had done this far too many times. He couldn't do it anymore. He just couldn't go on his entire life, doing nothing - knowing nothing more - other than killing. He didn't like it. In his mind . . . in his own mind, he was still a child. Still a young boy. Still eleven. He had never really learned how to live those years. He had never really grown up. He wanted to go back. He wasn't afraid, though. Not at all. No, his fear had left him when his happiness had. Now . . . he felt nothing. Nothing but pain. His body was alien to him. He didn't even have his own time to grow into it. No one ever asked him if he _wanted_ to go on this foolish quest. No one ever even stopped to think about how hard it might be on he - a mere _child_ - to go through with this. There were plenty of brave _men_ in Hyrule. Why did they have to choose a boy? True; he always _had_ been a brave boy. He had the widest assortment of scratches and bruises all through Kokiri Forest, and he had always bragged that they didn't even hurt. Of course they did; not as much as he let on. However, he had always tried to never cry. And it always worked. Up until now. A single tear rolled down the cheek of Link's - now adult - face. His loathed enemy's face. His enemy was himself now. "_Why_!?" he cried, pounding a fist down hard on the cold, hard stone. "Why _me_!?" More tears spilled down to meet the first ones. "I just want to go _home_ to Kokiri Forest and go to sleep! I just want to sleep . . . and play again . . . Navi, please tell me this is all a bad dream!" He started sobbing. Navi sighed and looked up a bit. "Be brave, Link," she whispered. This made Link angry. "I've _been_ brave! My body may be eighteen, Navi, but I'm still a little boy!" he wailed. He started to break down. He was shaking. Navi gulped. "You have to be braver, Link, the world is counting on you," she said quietly. Link looked up at her, face red and hot with the falling of tears. A hurt expression was evident on his sad - yet angry - face. "You don't even _care_, Navi!" he cried, starting to fall from being propped up by his violently shaking arms. 

Link recalled the first little bit of his journey. He remembered fighting Gohma, and watching the Great Deku Tree die, right in front of his very own eyes. He remembered the infernal dinosaur, King Dodongo. He recalled the cursed electric beast, Barinade. He then remembered realizing how much older he was. Then he remembered Phantom Ganon. Phantom Ganon was particularly frightening to him, for he was almost as soulless as the evil horseman himself. Phantom Ganon was a creation used solely for evil. The very reflection of Link, who was a creation used only for good. That was his only purpose in life. To either kill, or be killed, all for Zelda's love of Hyrule. Ah, yes, Zelda. He remembered her well, and winced at the remembrance. When he first met her, he thought she was cute, and he formed a small crush on her. Of course, that was only until he had grown older and realized that she had taken off on him. _She told me she'd be right there with me through everything,_ Link thought with severe loathing. _But she's gone. She lied to me. She left me._ He hated Zelda. He hated her even more than Ganondorf. In fact, he almost didn't blame Ganondorf for retaliating. Why didn't the king send out his _guards_? They were stronger, braver, and much more important than a mere _child_ like Link himself! That was _their_ job! But it was _Zelda's_ fault. Link was just another life wasted. That was how he saw things. He could hardly feel anymore. Sometimes he was so immune to emotion or feeling of any sort that he even forgot to put on his Goron tunic in hot places, and he almost burst into flame. One time he forgot to wear his Zora tunic underwater and passed out, only awakened when Ruto found him. Link wasn't afraid of death. As a matter of fact, he welcomed death. Death for him would be like going to sleep after being awake for an eternity. However, it was also an easy way out. A coward's way out. People would speak harshly of his name for years . . . that is, if there were people _left_ after he died. If he killed himself, Hyrule would be ruled solely by Ganondorf, ridding it of people and replacing it with monsters created by magic gone wrong. He couldn't kill himself. Of course, if he DID kill himself, the world would no longer be his top priority. He could be free . . . free to his own eternal sleep. He didn't have to care whether or not people would speak ill of his name, for he would be dead. Asleep forever. That idea was very pleasing to him. A smile pulled at the corner of his young lips, and he wiped the tears forcefully from his face. Navi flitted above his head cautiously. "Link. . . ." she whispered nervously. "What are you doing?" Link's mad grin suddenly faded, and a fire lit up in his cold blue eyes. He glared maliciously at the fairy. "Die," he said calmly, reaching his gloved hand up. He backhanded the fairy so hard she flew across the room, her tiny wings still beating lightly in the air. Suddenly, she hit the cold stone wall with a loud, sickening crack. She was obviously dead; she had been dead the moment Link hit her, but that was the overkill. Glittering blue fairy blood leaked from the still form. Gently, her dead body floated to the ground. Link had often thought about what it would be like to finally rid himself of his annoying fairy. His thoughts sometimes consisted of slowly pulling off her wings and hearing her scream, casting Din's Fire upon her and watching her burn until she was black all over, and other horrible thoughts. His mind was twisted and warped; no longer sweet and innocent. Link grinned, satisfied, at the fairy's dead form. Then, he slowly walked out into the main entrance to the Temple of Time. He walked to the three Spiritual Stones. Ah, the Spiritual Stones. He remembered collecting them as a child. Back then, he only really noticed how nice they looked, and how jealous the other Kokiri children would be if he bragged to them about them. He thought that after he collected those stones, his quest would be over. But, he was wrong. Link looked the Kokiri Emerald over. It simply levitated in its hollow, spinning around aimlessly. Link frowned and grabbed it. Its mass was considerably less since the last time he'd handled it. When he was a child, it had been among the heaviest things he'd lifted. The gold that danced about the large gem was what weighed it down the most, but the stone itself was rather heavy. Now, it was very light. Thus, he smashed the damned thing against the wall with all his might. Pieces broke from the green stone and tumbled on the floor. Then, Link did the same with the Goron Ruby and the Zora Sapphire. They only shattered slightly, but he didn't care, so long as he did damage of any sort. Next, he brought out his ocarina. Ahh, his beautiful ocarina. Its cerulean blue sheen reflected the young man's angry face; his face full of hatred and anger. It really was a beautiful clay thing, but he didn't care. Grinning, he smashed it against the grey floor. The sound of it shattering was like music to Link's ears. He watched the blue instrument explode, and watched the shards of earth-coloured clay (painted blue) dance on the stone floor. Then, he stood and stepped on what was left of the thing, crushing the pieces to a fine muddy-blue powder. He grinned down triumphantly. Then came what he was anticipating most. Gloved hands shaking, Link slowly unsheathed his sword. The Master Sword. He smiled insanely and leered at his own reflection in the metal. The sword was permanently stained by the blood of many, and Link knew that. Still, he extended his tongue and drew the blade closer. He licked the blade like a sword-happy person often does. The taste was cold and bitter. It tasted like stale blood. Link grinned. "Add another soul to your blade of thieves, Sword," he hissed. Swiftly, he drew back the sword and held it out so that the sharp end of the blade was facing his stomach. "I've been waiting for this for a long time," he said. Quickly, he thrust the blade inward. It penetrated his flesh and dug through muscle. It went past his major organs, then protruded through the other side of him; through his back. He let out a slight whimper as he coughed up a bit of blood. Then, he realized, he _was_ afraid to die. In fact, he didn't want to now. It was far too painful. He couldn't even see anymore, the pain was blinding him! He tried to scream for help; for someone to come and save him, but nothing came out. _Navi. . . ._ he thought, _I'm sorry. . . ._ Black. He fell into black. He was truly dead. And he regretted it.

**THE END**

A/N: Gyah, that was terrible *_* I was in a terribly angsty mood when I wrote this. Hope I didn't go over (or under) board! Sorry if you hate it ^_^;;;. 


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